74 days

I was so out of sorts on my last post that I said I had 86 days till the marathon, when it was really less than that...I do have it right this week. :-)

As usual, here is a recap of my training week:

Monday:
Today I was supposed to do a training session and then run 6 miles, but I cancelled both. I'm not supposed to do either until my ear situation gets figured out. I can't stop running but I can stop lifting weights until then.

Tuesday:
I gave myself this day off too. I know it doesn't sound like a good decision with the marathon so close, but there were more pressing things on my mind. Not even a good run was going to solve these problems.

Wednesday:
Today I didn't have any training scheduled. What I did have scheduled was my CT scan and MRI. So while I don't know my test results yet (although it's been a few days and I haven't heard anything from my doctor yet, so I'm taking that as a good sign), what I did find out for sure is that I am officially claustrophobic. Holy moly.

I had the option to make some medication prior to the appt to relieve any anxiety, etc., but I decided not to take it since I had to go into work and was planning on driving home to my parents house that evening.

I got into the CT machine and freaked out. Like majorly freaked out. I laid down, the tech started moving me backwards into the machine and while she was doing that, didn't tell me what she was doing as she was doing it. It freaked me out. I needed to know how far I was going in, for how long, etc. she didn't give me any of that. I cried, I apologized, I got through it. But I knew the MRI would be worse. So for the 30 min in between appointments I was scared out of my mind.

When the MRI tech called me back, she said she heard I had some trouble with the CT scan and I just started crying. I was so scared. I got in the machine and the tears just rolled down my cheek. I hate small spaces, I hate being in something that I cannot get out of if I need to. It's horrible. This tech was great though, she talked me through each step. I was scared but I just closed my eyes, counted the seconds through each scan series and after about 20 min it was over. I hope I never have to do that again.

The doctor is supposed to call me for a follow up appointment to discuss the test results, but as I mentioned earlier since I haven't heard anything yet I am assuming that all is ok. I will still feel better once I know for sure.

Thursday:
Planned day off.

Friday:
I ran 6 miles on Friday, and felt really good at the end of it. Felt like I could go run another 6 miles. Was great!

Saturday:
Day off!

Sunday:
Today I was scheduled to run 16 miles. I was nervous, since it would be the longest distance I had ever run. I woke up early (so I could still get back to watch the Open with my dad), had a smoothie and I was off! I ran on the Olympic Discovery Trail. I thought I would run 5 miles east, then back, then 3 miles west, then back and have my whole 16 miles done. The weather was perfect running weather a little misty and nice and cool. I was enjoying the run and scenery so much that when I got to 5 miles I just kept going, and going and going, until I was in my hometown of Sequim. My parents house is outside the town by 8 miles. When I reached Sequim and 8 miles I turned around and made my way back. It was gorgeous. I felt good for the first 13 miles, but the last 3 were HARD. Probably ran 1/2 and walked 1/2 of the last three miles. But either way...I made it!! All 16 miles done! I almost still can't believe it. The best part...I wasn't sore at all the next day! One of my toes hurt a bit, but that was all! I'm finally starting to feel more confident that I can complete this marathon!

To end this post, here are a few pictures from my trip home and my run on Sunday.

Days till Marathon: 74
Total training miles: 291.85

86 days

This week had a lot of downs but ended on a good positive...here it is...

Monday:
I had another personal training appointment on Monday. I really like the group that goes at 6pm on Mondays. Very encouraging of each other and fun to be around. It can make all the difference. So the training session was good, plus I got 1 of my 6 miles out of the way during the session by doing sprints on the treadmill.

After the session ended I still had another 5 miles to go. Maybe my legs were tired from the run on Sunday, maybe my mind wasn't there, but whatever it was I only ran 3 of the 5 miles. I felt a little bad about it until I told myself it was still 2 good hours of working out and that I would come back strong next time.

Tuesday:
Had the day off, and got to see Charisse and Kim for dinner! Always fun times!

Wednesday:
Today was the day that literally changed my life forever. A few weeks ago, during one of my training sessions, I felt my ear pop and/or get really full all of a sudden. It felt like my ear had filled up from water from swimming, or it needed to pop. I continued on with my workout and figured it would pop and go back to normal. When I got home from working out that night I was very shaky and felt like I was going to pass out. Even a little nausious. After all my years in sports and working out I had never felt that way at the end of a workout.

The next morning I woke up and felt nausious as well. My ear was still full and along with that I could hear a very high pitched noise in my ear as well. It sounded like a high frequency. It never went away. At work I also noticed that my hearing wasn't the same. I couldn't hear low tones, or nearly as well as I used to. After about 4-5 days of this, with no change I made a Dr appointment to see what was wrong.

I initially went to my family doctor who told me it was probably allergies (I have never had allergies in my life), and to take Clairitin. She said if it didn't get better in 2 weeks to call and get a referral to an Ear Nose and Throat doctor. Well all the Clairitin did was make me fell worse. So I finally got my referral to the ENT and this leads us to Wednesday.

My appointment was Wednesday. I went into a sound proof booth and did all sorts of hearing tests. When I was done the nurse said I have outstanding hearing for the most part, until it gets to the low tones in my right ear, then I can hear almost nothing. She said a name for what she thought it was, and I got excitied. A name! That has to mean there is a cure right? Yea, not so much.

I waited for the doctor with excitement, thinking soon I would be back to normal, but within 4 minutes of him being in the room I was crushed. Here are the main points of what he had to say:

*I have tinnitus. A condition where people have a constant ringing in their ear.
*If the condition does not go away within 1 year, it will never go away.
*There are a few steroid treatments to try but they are typically unsuccessful.
*He thinks I was born with a pre-disposition for a 3rd bone in my ear to move, causing this diagnosis. I need to have a CT scan done to see.
*I should not work out or run until we find out what caused this to happen.
*And, oh by the way, there is a small possibility it could be a brain tumor so I am going to order you a MRI too.

I'm a pretty emotional person, so I nearly lost it. Within 5 minutes I heard a) I'll never have my hearing back, b) you can't work out (not good for a marathon training plan) and c) it could possibly be a brain tumor.

For those of you who don't know me, brain tumor is the biggest trigger word I could hear, as my sister past away from a brain tumor when I was 12. So precautionary or not, it scares the shit out of me.

I know there are a million other things that could be wrong with me that would be way worse, but anytime you hear you won't be the same ever again, it takes some getting used to. I've been having quite the mourning party for myself this week.

You can call this overdramatic, but I challenge you to live every freaking second with a ring in your ear, and not be able to hear someone whisper next to you, or not be able to hear a normal conversation in a loud restaurant and then you tell me it wouldnt take you some getting used to and that it doesnt change things.

As a side note, doctors should not be able to pass med school without an A in bedside manner. My doctor couldn't have cared less that I was upset or that he rattled off live changing things like it was a grocery list.

So the rest of Wednesday was spent coming to terms with that news, and working late...so no run this day.

Thursday:
I was supposed to run 6 miles this day, but I didn't. I was still grappling with new about my ear, and with my doctor telling me not to run. I thought the running bit was ridiculous but I was worried I would do more damage, so I gave myself another day off.

Oh, I also had a 2nd appt with another ENT doctor at the same clinic to see if the steroid therapy would be an option for me. He wasn't in the room for more than 2 minutes before he said I wasn't a candidate. First, I was kind of ok with this, as the thought of steroids getting shot into my eardrum didn't really have me excited. Secondly though, I was pissed I took all that time off work to drive there for literally a 5 minute appointment with another doctor with no bedside manner.

Friday:
Day off!

Saturday:
Day off!

Sunday:
Long run day! I said screw the doctor, I've run since this ear thing happened and it hasn't gotten worse, so I'm gonna keep running (taking a break on the weight training though). 14 miles was my distance. I was nervous about it since last week I was supposed to do 12 and stopped at 11, but I started and felt good almost the whole way! I did walk a few times, but I finished the whole 14 miles in just about 3 hours and 17 min!! I was so proud of myself for finishing, for winning the mental game. I finally felt like I could do this marathon. Even better, the next day my legs felt great!

Only 86 days to go!! I can do this! One day at a time!

Final side note: if anyone reads this before July 18th, please send me good thoughts the morning of July 18th. I go in for my CT scan and MRI that morning. I'm sure that everything will be fine, but I won't stop worrying about it until I know for sure. Thanks for the good thoughts!

Days till Marathon: 86
Total training miles: 269.85

91 days!!

Here's how my week shaped up:

Monday:
I had my weekly personal training appointment on Monday. I had been doing them on Wednesdays, but moved them to Mondays to fit with the training plan better. I told my trainer, Rey, that I always have to run after the training sessions, so in order to save my legs a bit he would tell me when to do lower weights and not strain myself too much.

It's a group training session and there was a new guy in the session. Poor guy made it all the way through the session, then puked at the very end. The session was by no means easy, but of all the sessions I've done it was the easiest. Hope the poor guy comes back and can tough it out again.

After the session was over I headed upstairs to do the 7 miles of running I needed to get in. It was the first time I had done training and running on the same day, so I was a bit worried about how my legs were going to hold up. To make sure didn't overt do it I ran .5 miles then would walk for about a minute and so on. Got all 7 miles done, but I sure was feeling it at the end.

Tuesday:
Day off!

Wednesday:
My training plan had me doing a speed workout on Wednesday but I had the day off from work, and decided to go on a pretty extreme hike instead. I figured it wasn't running but it would be a good workout and a good compromise. Oh my god. Maybe one of the stupidest decisions I have ever made. The uphill climb was torture. I kept going, albeit slowly, but I wasn't going to be the one keeping everyone from the top. We got maybe 4-4.5 miles up and I could feel the extremes muscle fatigue in my legs. Every part of my willpower wanted to keep going by my legs wouldn't let me. We turned around, they guys I was with we're so wonderful and supportive. We made it to the bottom and after all was said and done it really was a wonderfully fun day. Lots of laughs and fun times.


Thursday:
My training plan was to do 6 miles on Thursday, but I made the decision to rest my legs another day. I felt better after the hike than I expected but another day of rest was probably good.

Friday:
Day off!

Saturday:
Day off

Sunday:
Ugh, long run day. My plan had me down to do 12 miles today. It's so freaking stupid, I did 11. How ridiculous right? I couldn't push through for 1 more mile. Ugh, so mad at myself. On the positive side, I ran 11 miles. I feel like after each run I should be feeling better about is marathon, but I just end up feeling worse and more scared.

Tomorrow I start another week of training, with runs on Monday, Thursday and Saturday. Let's hope I start to feel a little more positive about the race this week.

Days till Marathon: 91
Total training miles: 251.85

Less than 100 days!!!

Less than 100 days to go!

Ok, I've said it before, but this time I really mean it...I'm going to start posting more frequently. I'm going to try and post after each training run, this way I won't feel so overwhelmed (like I do now) trying to write a post to catch up on everything.

I have less than 100 days till my marathon, 98 days to be exact. And I'm kind of freaking out.

It's been forever since I've posted last, so here is a quick update on what I've done:
•After the Rock 'n' Roll: ran 25.5 miles
•Vancouver USA half marathon: 13.1 miles
•After Vancouver: 5 miles

I'm a tiny bit behind where I hoped to be at this point. But this morning I updated my training schedule, rearranging runs around the late nights at work, vacations, etc. I feel good about the plan. A few of my thoughts/concerns:
•The plan has me paced to run the marathon in 5 hours, 43 minutes. That would be great, but honestly as long as I finish in less than 6 hours I will be ecstatic!
•my hardest training days will be Saturdays and Mondays. Saturdays are my long run days (with a couple Sunday exceptions), and Mondays I have personal training appointments in addition to my running mileage. If I can get to Wednesdays it is downhill from there.
•I have two vacations this summer and know it will take tons and tons of will power to make sure I get my runs in. My trip home to Sequim should be fairly easy to get the runs in, but I'm slightly worried about getting them in when I am in Vegas. Luckily it is a rest week in the training plan, with no run more than 7 miles. I'm planning on going to the hotel gym to run 3 times while I am there. I think that should help keep up my fitness while doing all the horrible things you do on vacation. :)
•Lastly, my weekends for the whole summer are shot. My long runs are on Saturdays, and when I am done with them all I want to do is sleep for days. It's a good thing my social life isn't very active :).

Tomorrow I start again, the official marathon training plan. I start with a personal training session then 6 miles. I can do it, I can do it, I can do it.....

Days till Marathon: 98
Total training miles: 233.85